It’s been some weeks since my sister and brother’s weddings, all the madness, the stress…it’s all gone. And for some odd reason, even though when going through it, I wanted to die and wished it would be over, I miss it. I miss them.
Around wedding planning and events, you’re so caught with the material things, how much something costs, who’s doing what, who’s sitting where, what am I wearing, it all has to be perfect, there’s drama and arguments and the list goes on and on. But you forget why you’re doing it all to begin with, to become a family, to become one with your S/O. That nothing else matters but that, and since they’ve left I am starting to feel that void.
Christmas is just around the corner, and although it is my favourite time of year, I know that it’s not going to be the same, which makes me sad. It probably won’t be a big gathering of all my siblings, cousins, their kids, aunts and uncles etc. Everyone will have their own celebration, we will have to coordinate if it’s possible to even do it together.
I wasn’t really thinking about what the changes would feel like once my siblings left, all I knew was that they were coming, and for the most part it didn’t hit me. I seemed to be ok, while my parents got emotional on some days when they really felt alone or that the house felt empty, I didn’t seem to feel it like they did, they are parents after all. But I think since Christmas season has started, I can’t help to feel emotional and saddened at the fact that even though our families have gotten bigger, it feels smaller because they aren’t around anymore and that we most likely will not be celebrating Christmas together.
However, I’ve learned, such is life, we keep moving forward. You cherish all the memories you had before and only hope that it will start to get better, especially for my parents. Christmas is all about celebrating Jesus’ birthday together as a family. And even though we may not be able to do it all together under one roof, I still feel blessed to have them. Most people are not so lucky, so even though I may have my first-world-problems, I am excited for when we expand and there will be kids and eventually we’ll be able to have even bigger Christmases than before, hopefully under one roof. There are bigger and better things coming and I know God has plan, that void will be gone and filled with more love and happiness when we grow and continue to move forward.