Enjoying my Birthday in Las Vegas – Encore
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I can’t believe I’m 2 years closer to 30! When I was a kid and people would tell me they were in their 20s, I would think ‘damn, they’re old’. I also thought that when I turned 23, I would be married and have kids LOL and now that I’m 28 I think to myself, ‘what the hell was I thinking?’ Being 28 now, I can’t imagine making those milestones in my early 20s, that’s too young for me. I was having too much fun and didn’t have the typical responsibilities of an adult like I do now. When my mom was 28, she had my siblings and I – my brother was 7 years old, I was 6 and my sister 5. I can NEVER imagine having 3 kids right now – I know some people my age are already there – kudos to you!
Anyway, I’ve learned lots in 28 years (most of my meaningful learning experiences started around the age of 13 – but you know what I mean!). Learned a lot about myself, people, family and life in general. I am so blessed and happy to see another year and so glad I get to spend it with loved ones. I can’t wait to make more memories and reach more milestones – but as I continue to grow and age with grace, here are some 28 things that I’ve learned in the 28 years of existence that I will continue to carry through with me (these are not in any particular order):
- Take care of (spoil) yourself – I love buying myself stuff and pampering myself at the spa/salon and I think everyone should at a certain degree. Ain’t nothing wrong with doing things for yourself sometimes, especially on your birthday. I know some people don’t care for birthdays, but for me, I love my birthday and it’s a perfect reason for me to spoil myself. How i spoiled myself this year: ate whatever I wanted, took myself on a shopping spree, and I got my hair and nails done YAY! 🙂
- You can’t please everyone – growing up, I’ve always been a people pleaser. Wanting everyone to like me and be my friend. But as I’ve gotten older and wiser lol there’s no way EVERYONE is going to like, appreciate or care for you like you may for others. So feel no pressure or defeat if someone isn’t pleased with you – move on and keep people around you that matter and genuinely care for you. It’s pretty easy to figure out who those people are 90% of the time.
- Not everyone is your friend and that’s ok – just like the above, not everyone you interact with is your friend and that’s ok, sometimes people come into our lives for a small portion of time/purpose and they can become a close friend and sometimes they don’t. It’s not like elementary or high school where you have so much time and a huge list of friends to hang out with. That group gets smaller and smaller as you get older – this is not a bad or sad thing it’s actually better, this small group of friends are loyal and sincere – better than a huge group of half-assed friendships.
- Getting married is not an accomplishment – now this is not to diss anyone that’s married – it’s a beautiful thing, I hope to have it very soon myself. However, not because the desi (South Asian) community thinks my biological clock is ticking and I’m too old and no one will want to marry me, or because all my friends and family are getting married, or because I think this will complete my life. It’s not a competition, getting married is a choice, and I think it should only happen when two people are ready for the shit that’s going to come with it in ALL aspects (emotionally, financially, mentally…every “ally” you can think of lol) – it’s a not always rainbows and butterflies or a fairytale. SO, if you plan to marry, marry on your own terms and not the terms of others.
- You must love yourself – self love is important, I’ve struggled with this my whole life and I still do sometimes. But I think this is a valuable thing I’ve learned growing up because there is no one like me! There’s lots of things that I’ve grown to love about myself and that’s helped me with my confidence and self-esteem. Embrace what you’ve been blessed with! This is something many people struggle with, but learn to love the things about yourself and build and improve on those.
- Don’t let anyone think you’re not worthy or good enough – this one is pretty self-explanatory I think. You’re a star, don’t let anyone dim your light, believe you’re worthy, because you are.
- People will use you – they say it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there for a reason. My skin’s gotten thicker and stronger over time, but I’ve been known to be a push-over, and I’ve learned that not everyone plays fair and is your friend. I’ve learned to listen and observe and not to be too trusting – of course this doesn’t mean be jaded and don’t trust people at all lol just be smart.
- Work doesn’t have to take over your life – I am one of those people that can’t make work my number one priority. I know some people married to their jobs – good for you, but I can’t do it. I think there’s more to life than just working. I love my job and the fact that I have my own income, but I like to separate my life from work. Once I’m clocked out, my brain is too – big pet peeve – people who talk A LOT about work outside of work.
- Pray and keep faith – I am a worrier to the max! It can be annoying, but for me, the only thing that reminds me that I don’t have control over everything and I have to chill, is my faith. Prayer and faith is what’s gotten me through, knowing there’s someone greater watching over me! Let Go, Let God.
- Make time for your partner, friends and family – as life gets busier, it’s hard to make time for things that matter – but it’s so important that we do. Life is too short and to keep the connections and relationships with people we really care about, you have to make time. Your group already gets smaller as you get older so to keep that small group, you have to invest your time.
- Be genuine, be yourself – you wouldn’t want to be anyone else, it’s hard and stressful trying to be someone or something you’re not. So, embrace yourself and let that shine through (unless you’re a bad person and need to become a better person lol always look to make yourself better and improve)
- Make goals! See them through – making goals for yourself is super important, achievements and wins help you grow as a person and I think help you be a happier person. You have a sense of accomplishment and purpose. They can be big or small, anything really.
- Communication is key – I’ve learned that there is so much miscommunication because of the lack of communication. If you have something to say, you should – doesn’t help to keep things bottled up – I’ve learned this the hard way many times.
- Do what you love – this doesn’t have to be a career thing, it can simply be putting in time to just do things you like (hobbies, activities, movies, etc.) it will keep you sane and happy.
- Try new things – it’s beneficial to get out of your comfort zone (the one place I like to stay in most of the time lol) it helps you grow as a person and keep you from being so sheltered and closed. Groupon has helped me with this, if you can’t think of what you want to try, Groupon’s got a huge list of things that you didn’t know you could try – start there! Plus, it’s a lot of fun when you try or learn something new.
- Travel/Explore as much as possible if/when given the opportunity – this could also fall into the ‘try something new’ category. Seeing the different places that I have while traveling is so amazing. Trying new foods, listening to new accents/languages, and seeing how others live is something out of this world. I want to continue to see more, and I encourage others to do the same – it opens your mind and educates you on so many levels. There’s obviously some countries I wouldn’t want to go to lol but sometimes the media can skew the truth, so try to do your own investigations and research when travelling to different places.
- Eat all sorts of foods – I am a foodie and thank God I have no food allergies and/or dietary restrictions…for those that do – try as much as you can within the restrictions you have. Nowadays there are so many options. But for those like me, try different foods – so much goodness out there, get your belly happy!
- Learn to pay it forward; send and show love – I think the world needs love and trust. Paying it forward and showing love and affection helps restore faith back into humanity, and we need it more now than ever.
- Be persistent and consistent – don’t give up on things you care about. Continue to work hard and stay on course for things that matter to you, it’ll all come to you in due time.
- Think positively – positive thinking will alter your whole life and how you see, feel and perceive things. Nobody likes to be around a negative Nancy anyway, it’s annoying as hell.
- Watch lots of movies and listen to lots of music – I think this helps bring balance and peace into our lives. I think these can be food for the soul – it’s also just fun – helps to steer away from reality sometimes.
- Learn to spend time with JUST yourself – spending some down time with yourself is bliss, you just need it sometimes – especially an introvert like me. Giving yourself time helps you recollect your thoughts, put yourself first, relax and essentially talk to yourself (in your head lol) about your day, things you want to do, etc. keeps you sane too.
- It’s important to date – and by date, I mean date people. You learn a lot about yourself and things you know are important to you. I think it helps narrow your list down to find someone that matches your list of things you need in someone to be your life partner. It also helps you appreciate the great relationships after going through some weird or tough ones. It can teach you gratitude, value and whole lot about yourself.
- First Cut is the Deepest – going back to dating – your first break up will be the hardest. It’s tough, having to invest so much of yourself in the first person which you may think is “The One” but just know, the first cut is deepest, but you heal, grow and get better. It’s a learning experience and you should only do better from it.
- You need to have girl time (or guy time) – this is the time away from S/Os and family – this is the time you need with your girls (or boys). The time to let loose and do fun stuff together. Tell each other about your lives, ups and downs, problems, etc. You need this to keep your friends, individuality and sanity. I’ve noticed lots of people lose friends once they get into relationships, but God forbid anything happen to that relationship because they also may not have friends. You need your friends in your life that have been through thick and thin with you and probably know more about you than anyone else, if you have friends like that, make sure to keep them and make that time.
- Cleaning is important – I think cleaning is good for the mind, body, and soul – its therapeutic, makes you feel good and accomplished, and is generally good for your health and mine. Stay clean!
- It’s not a birthday, it’s a birthmonth – Listen, judge me if you want, but I celebrate my whole birthday month and it’s very special to me. I think people should celebrate another year added and passed, I am grateful for that and I also like to spoil myself – so that’s the perfect reason to celebrate the whole month!
- “If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.” – Michael Jackson – At the end of it all, if you know you’re loved and you have others that you love, everything will be taken care of (good or bad) – love is all everyone needs to get by in life because there’s lots of crap that gets thrown our way, but when you have love, it’s all miniscule.
That’s my list of 28 things that I’ve learned in the 28 years of existence – a lot of it on growth, sanity and peace, ‘cause Lord knows you’re going to need more and more of it as you get older lol I want to thank all my loved ones for always giving me love, great memories and experiences as I continue to age. I only pray to see many more years and see more of the world! I hope this list was helpful in anyway, do you have anything on your list you’d like to share? Comment down below.